In 2005, I began confronting one particularly severe issue related to this realization. It would take years of deep inner work, but in 2022, I finally experienced a profound release. That moment marked a turning point in my healing, a long-awaited clearing of something that had remained buried and unresolved for almost 60 years.

Both my mother and father were highly educated, and it was always expected that all of us children would go to college. Although I earned multiple degrees and had a solid foundation in the sciences, it never truly aligned with where my heart was. I realized that I was living out my parents’ vision for my life, not my own and that realization led me into a period of deep depression, questioning the purpose and usefulness of my existence. When I left my position as an assistant professor doing genetic research in the Department of Psychiatry at the Indiana University Medical School in 2003, I began exploring what I truly wanted. It was a turning point, and I started to feel much better. At first, I threw myself into the world of theater, acting, directing, writing, and even set building. I’ve always acted as a hobby, but this was a full immersion into theater. But all of that eventually receded into the background for what turned out to be a deeper calling. I found myself settling into the path of spirituality, where something essential finally clicked into place.

Mt. Kailash, Tibet

I’ve always sensed that there’s a profound mystery beneath the surface of what we think of as reality, something that can’t be fully explained by the reductionist lens of the scientific method. That intuition naturally led me to explore consciousness, which eventually brought me to the Waking Down in Mutuality community in 2004, and later to its offshoot, the Trillium Awakening community. The depth of that work provided me with the clarity and discernment I needed to explore the many layers of my psyche within a safe, supportive container of teachers and fellow students. It also gave me a grounded path for continuing my exploration of consciousness.

Through this process, I’ve made significant progress in unraveling deeply rooted conditioned patterns, limiting beliefs, and intense traumas. In 2006, I experienced a profound awakening, one that has remained stable and continues to support the ongoing unwinding of my localized identity and the deepening of my relationship with Reality. While much of the trauma has dissolved, some of the deeper layers remain. These often require a certain maturity to process, as the intensity of their release can be overwhelming without the right internal resources. Still, my life is no longer shaped by the wounds of the past. Instead, it unfolds more fluidly, moment by moment, day by day, in a flow that feels alive and aligned.