Dual: Stages 1 - 8
Stage 1 of the iConscious model — Survival — is the foundational stage of human development, where our most basic needs for safety, nourishment, and connection are paramount. As infants, we are completely dependent on caregivers for our survival; we cannot feed ourselves, protect ourselves, or regulate our nervous systems. In this stage, the world is experienced as an overwhelming flood of sensations, and the presence or absence of care directly shapes our early sense of security. When our needs are met with consistency and love, we begin to form a basic trust in life. When they are not, the world may feel unsafe or threatening, and survival mechanisms like dissociation, hypervigilance, or emotional shutdown can take root. This stage is deeply somatic, rooted in the body’s instinctual drive to stay alive.
Even as adults, we can revisit the Survival stage, especially in times of crisis, trauma, illness, or sudden loss. Accidents, betrayals, financial collapse, or natural disasters can all activate this primal survival consciousness, pulling us back into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses. In these moments, our higher capacities for reflection and connection may go offline as the body prioritizes raw survival. While this regression can be painful or frightening, it’s also a powerful opportunity for healing. When we bring loving awareness to our survival patterns and allow the body to feel safe again, we begin to integrate the stage rather than be ruled by it. In the context of awakening, tending to the Survival stage is essential, it gives us the grounded foundation upon which the rest of our growth can unfold. Without safety in the body, higher development cannot stabilize or flourish.
Stage 2 of the iConscious model - Self-Centric - emerges during toddlerhood, when the developing sense of self begins to assert itself as the center of the universe. At this stage, the child is naturally self-absorbed, exploring autonomy and testing boundaries without yet having the tools for discipline, empathy, or self-regulation. The toddler wants what they want, when they want it, and any restriction can feel like a personal injustice. This is not selfishness in a negative sense—it’s an important developmental phase where the self is discovering its own agency. Children in the Self-Centric stage crave validation, attention, and a sense of specialness. They need to know that they matter, that they’re seen and celebrated as individuals. Loving structure and consistent boundaries help them learn how to channel their emerging will in healthy, relational ways.
As adults, we can find ourselves revisiting the Self-Centric stage, especially in times when we feel unsupported, unseen, or powerless. If our early needs for recognition and validation weren’t adequately met, we may unconsciously seek attention or act out in ways that center ourselves at the expense of others. This can manifest as entitlement, emotional reactivity, or difficulty considering other perspectives. However, this regression is not a failure, it’s an opportunity to tend to unmet developmental needs. When we recognize the Self-Centric stage in ourselves or others with compassion rather than judgment, we can begin to offer the validation and containment that were missing. Through conscious awareness, we grow beyond self-centeredness into a more integrated and relational self, capable of holding our own needs while also caring for the needs of others.
Stage 3 of the iConscious model — Conforming — marks a shift from self-centered individuality toward group identity and external authority. At this stage, the individual begins to seek belonging and security through compliance with the rules, norms, and expectations of their family, community, religion, or culture. This is the stage where many people settle for much of their lives, finding comfort and identity in the familiar structures handed down by parents, teachers, religious leaders, and societal institutions. The emphasis is on fitting in, doing what’s expected, and avoiding conflict or deviation. Questioning the rules can feel dangerous, as belonging is often conditional on conformity. Those who don’t align with the group are seen as outsiders and may be met with suspicion, rejection, or even hostility.
Interestingly, even those who appear rebellious in this stage are often still conforming, just to a different set of norms within their chosen subculture. Whether it’s following a political ideology, a spiritual teacher, or a social trend, the underlying pattern is still one of external referencing and group-based identity. True autonomy and inner guidance are not yet fully developed, and leadership is usually deferred to someone perceived as having authority. This stage plays an important role in developing a sense of order, discipline, and community, but it can also limit growth if we remain stuck in blind obedience or fear of standing alone. Awakening from the Conforming stage involves reclaiming our inner authority and beginning to question whether the rules we follow truly align with our values and authentic self.
Stage 4 of the iConscious model — Rational Striving — is a powerful turning point in human development, where the individual begins the journey of individuation. After years of shaping oneself to meet the expectations of parents, teachers, peers, and cultural norms, a deep inner impulse arises: the need to break free from external definitions and discover who we are on our own terms. This stage often begins with rebellion or boundary-setting, as we attempt to distance ourselves from the influences that once shaped us. It can be a confusing and turbulent time, as we realize that while conformity once kept us safe and accepted, it no longer satisfies the deeper longing for authenticity. In Rational Striving, we begin to question everything: our beliefs, our roles, our loyalties, and even our goals. The drive to find our truth becomes a central force in our lives.
At this stage, we begin to understand the power and responsibility of self-authorship. No longer content to follow a script written by others, we start making conscious choices about who we are, what we value, and how we want to live. We begin to see that freedom is not just about rejecting limits, it’s about creating a life that reflects our inner truth. With this freedom comes responsibility: we must own the consequences of our decisions, face the challenges of standing alone, and develop the resilience to learn from our failures. Rational Striving can be a lonely and even isolating stage at times, but it is also deeply empowering. It marks the beginning of an adult sense of self, a self that is not defined by approval or rejection, but by its own integrity and evolving understanding of truth.
Stage 5 of the iConscious model — Equality Harmony — marks a shift from self-authored independence to a deeper longing for connection, meaning, and unity. After the often intense individuation process of Stage 4, there arises a desire to soften, to open the heart, and to explore realms that transcend logic and linear thinking. People in this stage are drawn to practices that connect them to something larger than themselves—whether through meditation, emotional healing, spiritual exploration, or holistic wellness. There’s a hunger to move beyond surface-level living and into a more soulful, integrative experience of life. This stage often marks a first real encounter with the subtler dimensions of existence—energy, intuition, synchronicity, and inner guidance—and with it comes a blossoming of compassion, inclusivity, and curiosity about the mystery of being.
However, the sense of “oneness” experienced at this stage is often more of a heartfelt ideal or emotional resonance than a deep, stabilized realization. There’s frequently a strong push for equality, mutual respect, and dismantling hierarchical structures—sometimes with resistance or judgment toward anything perceived as power-based or exclusive. While this desire for equality is sincere and important, it can also obscure the value of natural hierarchies of development, wisdom, or skill. In trying to flatten all distinctions, we may miss the ways in which diversity and structure can support true harmony. Still, Stage 5 is a beautiful and necessary step toward wholeness. It opens the door to interconnection, emotional depth, and spiritual seeking, preparing the ground for the more integrated and mature expressions of unity that come in later stages.
Stage 6 of the iConscious model — Inclusive — marks a profound turning point in the journey of development. After the striving for independence in Stage 4 and the heart-centered seeking of unity in Stage 5, Stage 6 brings a humbling and expansive recognition: that both our understanding of the world and of ourselves has been far more limited than we realized. There’s a deepening awareness that true growth doesn’t come from achieving higher states or perfecting ourselves, but from embracing everything, the messy, painful, awkward, and uncomfortable parts of life, just as much as the beautiful and transcendent. This is a stage of radical acceptance and surrender. The desire to be inclusive is no longer just a moral or social stance; it becomes a spiritual necessity. To open fully to life, we must open fully to ourselves, our shadows, wounds, contradictions, and the truth that we are always more than we imagined.
This stage is often accompanied by a feeling of disillusionment or grief, as many of the ideals we held in earlier stages begin to fall away, not because they were wrong, but because they are no longer sufficient. The polished self-image, the aspiration to "rise above," the pursuit of enlightenment or perfection, all begin to crumble under the weight of life’s complexity. What may appear on the surface as regression or failure is actually a deep unwinding of ego structures, making space for a more authentic, integrated self to emerge. People in Stage 6 may find themselves less interested in grand visions of personal success or spiritual achievement and more drawn to simplicity, presence, and compassion. There is a softening, a letting go of striving, and an invitation to include everything—especially the parts of ourselves and others we once tried to change or transcend. In this way, Stage 6 becomes the doorway to wholeness, where inclusion is not a goal, but a way of being.
Stage 7 of the iConscious model — Awakening — marks a profound and often life-altering shift in consciousness, where the longing for something deeper than ordinary human experience becomes undeniable. At this stage, we are drawn beyond thought, emotion, and sensory perception into the direct experience of spaciousness, presence, and the boundless nature of being. Awakening can come suddenly or gradually, but its essence is always the same: consciousness begins to recognize itself. This brings a radical redefinition of the self—not as the limited personality or ego-structure, but as the infinite, eternal awareness in which all experiences arise. Whether it emerges as a momentary glimpse or a stabilized state, the experience of boundlessness reveals that the core of who we are is already whole, already free. This realization penetrates every domain—body, emotions, mind, relationships—bringing with it a subtle but undeniable sense of peace and inner freedom.
For some, the Awakening experience is sudden and irreversible, like a veil lifting to reveal a vast and timeless presence that instantly becomes the foundation of life. For others, the process unfolds more slowly, through oscillations between identification with the limited self and moments of merging with the infinite. No matter the path, the outcome is the same: the discovery that true identity is not confined to form but is the spacious awareness in which all form dances. As we mature in this stage, awakening becomes less about extraordinary states and more about embodying this presence in the everyday. Life doesn’t stop being messy or human, but now it’s lived from a deeper ground of being. The highs and lows, gains and losses, are all held within the unshakable knowing of what we truly are. This shift births a deep and lasting inner stability, not dependent on external circumstances, a homecoming to the ever-present now.
Stage 8 of the iConscious model — Oscillating — is a dynamic and often paradoxical phase in the journey of awakening. After the expansive realization of boundless awareness in Stage 7, Stage 8 invites us into the challenging and beautiful work of integrating that realization into all aspects of our lived human experience. Here, the yearning for unity becomes central, not just as a spiritual ideal, but as a deeply embodied impulse to reconcile all parts of ourselves: the sacred and the ordinary, the expanded and the contracted, the divine and the deeply human. This stage is marked by a powerful inner tension, as we oscillate between moments of spacious, infinite awareness and moments of limitation, confusion, or emotional intensity. These fluctuations are not failures, they are part of the natural rhythm of integration. The soul is learning to live as both spirit and matter, and this often means navigating periods of “got it” and “lost it” as we reweave our identities from the ground up.
For many, Stage 8 plays out as a pendulum swing, feeling deeply connected during retreat, meditation, or peak moments, and then feeling lost or disconnected in the face of daily life’s stress and demands. Others experience a gentler, more gradual unfolding in which the infinite and the finite are slowly allowed to coexist without conflict. In either case, the challenge of Stage 8 is to stay present with the bothness, to hold space for being both limitless consciousness and a vulnerable, evolving human being. This is where the deep spiritual work of integration happens, as the different Domains of awakening begin to harmonize and inform one another. The more we allow the oscillation without judgment, the more we begin to feel a quiet, emerging coherence, the sense that every part of who we are belongs, and that awakening isn’t about escaping our humanity, but embracing it fully, with open eyes and an open heart.